Fall

I'm feeling good tonight.  I love back-to-school time. Call me nerdy, but I love when the stores get all their school supplies and dorm gear out.  There's just something so stinking cute about little kids trying out way too big backpacks, and I like scoring a bunch of new notebooks for 15 cents each.

This fall is lining up pretty nicely here at the Kaltschmidt house.  Erik has some business trips lined up, and in November we're going to Mexico.  Erik won us a free trip because he's champ like that.  The summer rush will be over at the business, which means he won't be getting home quite so late, which I'll definitely like.  Football is starting, which is great for Erik, less great for me.  We just got cable in our theater room, so Erik can watch the Seahawks on the big screen.

During the summer I've had a lot of uncertainty over what I would be doing in the Fall.  Last year I loved all the things I was involved with--  Head Start, piano, cheer, school, church calling, wifey stuff-- but it was definitely a lot. I was running all over the place all the time, and I felt like I wasn't giving anyone my best effort because I had too many irons in the fire.  Mentally I like to think I can handle more than my body actually can, and Erik and I ended up sick off-and-on all winter.  We both agreed that something would have to be different this year.

But then summer came, and I went from busy busy days to long lonely days.  I've hated how little I've had going on this summer.  Honestly it really took a toll on my self-esteem and my marriage.  I would feel so bad about myself because I wasn't making money, raising kids, or making the world a better place, and I would spend all day self-loathing, and then I would take a lot of that out on Erik.  That wasn't fair.  I couldn't wait for fall to come so I could get back in the swing of things.

I want to take just a brief deviation from my original topic to talk about self-esteem for a moment.  I've learned this summer that I had my self-esteem built on all the wrong things.  Growing up I based my self-esteem on doing well in school, which is good, but ultimately unimportant and unsustainable as a foundation.  I'm embarrassed to say in college I based my self-esteem on looking cute and going on lots of dates.  That was neither good nor important.  After I got married I based my self-esteem on the idea of trying to do it all--  go to school, make money, be a good wife, be skinny, etc. and that's just discouraging because there's always more I could/should be doing and there's always someone doing it better.  As I look forward and look at the kind of person I really want to be I realize I've been doing it all wrong.  I need to build my self-esteem foundation on things that matter and things that are permanent-- to me that means my marriage (my relationship, not my wifey skills) and the gospel.  Too personal for a blog?  Sorry.

Anyways, back to my main topic, Erik and I knew that something needed to be different, but I was too attached to everything I did last year that I couldn't choose what to give up.  Eventually the decision was made for me, because my position at Head Start got cut.  On one hand, I'm so disappointed.  I loved having a job utilizing my social work skills, I loved my coworkers, and I really believe in the organization and its purpose.  On the other hand, it's a little bit of a relief.  I still have a full schedule for the fall-- 22 piano students, a cheer squad, classes, and a house and husband to take care of.  I feel like that will be perfect for me.  Enough to feel like I'm busy and contributing, but still few enough that I feel like I can do things right.  I can be a good visiting teacher, I can work on personal development, I can relax every now and then but still meet all my professional and personal obligations.

It will be a little hard for me.  I get jealous when I read all my social work friends' blogs and hear about the cool job they have and all the people they're helping.  But Erik has Tuesdays, not Saturdays off, and we've decided that it's a priority for us to have time off together, so I chose cheerleading and piano over social work.  I get embarrassed when people ask me what I do.  I look at the floor and mumble something about music lessons and the high school.  But part of my goal for this fall is to learn to be proud of my decisions.  We talked, we prayed, and this what we feel like is best for our family, and that's nothing to be embarrassed about.  And in the Spring I'll have a Masters degree.  I think that's pretty cool and I'm glad to have this time to focus on my education and I'm glad Erik is so supportive.

So that's that.  That's what we're up to this Fall.  And like I said at the beginning of this post, tonight I'm feeling good about it. 

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I love the rodeo.  I am an unlikely candidate to be a rodeo fan because I don't like animals,  the outdoors, or anything described as "rustic".  What I do like is cowboys.  Specifically, Cowboy Erik. 

For those of you who don't know, Erik is not exactly a cowboy during 362 days of the year.  For one magical weekend Erik is in charge of the rodeo at the fair.  And that means he dresses like a cowboy.  And that is awesome.  Also it gets me out of cooking dinner for three nights straight.  I love the rodeo. 

This year our friends Alex and Aubrie and their cute little cowgirl Bella were able to come for one of the nights.  It was super fun to have them there, and having a little kid sit by me gave me a good excuse to eat way too much cotton candy.
On the last day of the rodeo there is a special "belt buckle presentation" .  Last year Don got the coveted belt buckle for rodeo support, but since he already had one, this year Erik got it.  He got to ride all around the arena in a fancy truck and now he has a belt buckle with his name on it.  Plus, we got a great front row seat to the monkey side show where monkeys ride collies and herd goats.  I can't make this stuff up.

And I got a picture with the rodeo princess.  I love those girls.

In other news, cheer tryouts went well and I think we have a solid team heading into football season.  Unfortunately Erik and I are both sick today, but we're having a lovely time laying in bed arguing about who feels worse.  For the record, it's totally me.  Come visit us, but maybe wait a week or two until disease has left our home.

Washington DC

Erik and I just got back from Washington DC.  The Alex/Emily Wedding Tour is over and we are looking forward to staying home for the next little while.

The wedding was really beautiful.  I'm grateful that Alex found someone that makes him so happy and I look forward to seeing where their lives go.  We had the opportunity to be in the Washington DC temple with them.  It's a beautiful temple even if it's in the most humid place on earth.

I don't know why this is sideways.  It isn't sideways in my files.  Oh well, this is us with the handsome groom.

This is us without the handsome groom

Cake cutting.  Emily's eyes really aren't crazy, they just are in this picture.  

Dancing with Jack at the reception.  I really do have the crazy eyes. And a big butt.  But I digress...

The day after the wedding Erik and I hung out with my family.  Due to unforeseen circumstances Erik and I ended up mooching lodging off my parents and my aunt.  We had two hotel rooms, a boy room and a girls room.  On Saturday we went the Air and Space Museum.  It was really cool, but not nearly cool enough to justify the 5 hours we spent there.

3 in the bed and the little one said roll over, roll over

On Sunday my family went home and Erik and I had a few days to explore DC.  Turns out Washington DC is pretty awesome.  We only scratched the surface, but we managed to squeeze a lot in.  We even saw Erik's college buddy Barney. 

This is part of the Berlin Wall.  The Newseum has the biggest chunk of the Berlin Wall in America.

We rocked the National Mall, the National Archives, Dupont Square, and the Newseum (thanks Jeff, it was awesome).  Also I saw the headquarters of the Church of Scientology, which is relevant because I'm totally Team Tom in the Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes divorce. 

This last picture was taken on Sunday before my family left.  I love it because it's the only non-wedding picture of my whole family.  I hate it because I look short.

I feel so blessed to have had so much time with my family this summer.    These are the people who continue to let me wear their clothes and use their stuff even though I never give it back.  Who spend roughly four hours playing chauffeur to my husband and me while they are supposedly on vacation and then say it's "no big deal".  Who sneak People magazine and prescription zit cream into my luggage as a surprise when for me when I unpack.   Those are some of the ultimate barometers of love.  I am one lucky girl.