Birthday Eve

To My Sweet Clara Girl,

Tonight is your birthday eve.  I have been sentimental all month (who are we kidding, all year), but tonight I pretty much just want to sit on the floor of the nursery with a tub of ice cream and watch you sleep. I want to see your beautiful long eyelashes against your chubby baby cheeks and hear your cute little sighs, because today more than ever I'm acutely aware of how fast you are changing.   I cannot believe that tomorrow my little baby turns one.  You have brought so much happiness to me, and I want to get those feelings down for you to read someday.

When you were first born and the doctor handed you to me, I remember looking at your little face and being terrified.  I didn't have a lot of experience with babies, and you were so tiny and fragile. I worried about everything.  Would we bond?  Would I be able to keep you safe?  How would your daddy and I handle a new family member? Then I remember being up in the night with you about a month after we brought you home and realizing that somehow in that short amount of time I had come to love you more than I knew I was capable of loving.  I felt like the Grinch, whose heart grew three sizes that day.  I loved your daddy more for giving me you and being such a great dad and partner.  I loved your Nona and Papa more for doing all the things for me 23 years ago that I do for you.  I loved Heavenly Father more for sending me a blessing more precious than I had ever comprehended.

Clara, you are happy, curious, and fearless, and I hope you always stay that way.  You are everything I wanted you to be, everything I imagined you would be when I was up all night during my pregnancy because you wouldn't stop kicking. I love watching you discover the world.  This week you are into ceiling fans, flowers, puppies, and balloons.  You love to play outside and crawl through the tunnels at the park.  Who knows what you will love next week.  Daddy and I make the most ridiculous faces and noises trying to make you laugh, because you have the more adorable, deep, belly laugh we have ever heard.  I think you are the most special, wonderful, beautiful baby who ever existed, and if you think I'm bad, you should see Daddy. 

One of my favorite stories about your dad and you happened a few months ago.  I had an appointment in the morning, so your dad was going to drop you off at your Mimi's on his way to work.  Right after you two left, I texted her to let her know you would be there soon, and what your eating and napping schedule would look like.  A half hour later I got a nervous call from your Mimi saying that Daddy had never dropped you off.  I instantly got worried that you had been in a wreck or something had happened.  It turns out that instead of taking you to Mimi's, your daddy just took you to work with him.  Daddy loves you so much and is so proud of you, that he just wanted to spend another hour playing with you and showing you off. You love your daddy, and get the sweetest smile on your face when he walks in the door.  I think that's the best moment of the day for both of you.

Being a dad has brought out a whole new side of your daddy that I had never seen.  He told me that he got so excited the first time he saw you, and he has been doing everything he can to be the best father to you ever since.  I love to listen to him read you stories in a sing-song voice he saves for you.  You two love to wrestle together, and be loud and wild.  Even people at church comment to me about what a sweet daddy he is, and how obviously smitten he is with you.  Some nights he stays in your room with you until you fall asleep just because he wants another few minutes together.  He loves you so much.

I like to think that being a mother and having you in my life is softening some of my rough edges.  I am slowly learning to let things go, and to hold back snarky or unkind thoughts.  Being a parent is definitely humbling, and I am learning to be more empathetic and slower to judge.  I still have such a long ways to go, but thank you for being my motivation to be better.  I want to be the best mama to you, and you are helping me learn how to get there.

I wish there were better, more descriptive, more powerful words I could use to explain how much your dad and I love you.  I remember being happy before you were born, but it doesn't even compare to the complete joy that having you in our family has given me.  You won't understand it today, but someday you will hold a beautiful sweet baby in your arms and all of a sudden you'll think 'yeah, I get it now'.   Happy birthday my sweet girl.  I can't wait for another year of adventures with you.

 When did this little thing....

turn into this spunky girl!

11 Months

We are down to one more month until Clara has her first birthday! In my mind she is still three or four months, until I actually see a baby that young and how big Clara is in comparison.  Her little face is starting to look older, and she is becoming so mobile and independent!

At 11 months, Clara.....

---Loves to wave, point, and clap

I have her shoes on the wrong feet.  Whoops.  Here she is pointing at our neighbor's dog, Libby

---Is not walking on her own, but will cruise against the furniture

She especially likes that she can turn the water on in the bathroom

---Gives herself kisses in the mirror

---Had her first visit to the zoo.  Her favorite animals were the birds and the wallabies. 

---Looks more and more like Erik every day

---Loves reading stories, especially books with flaps.  

Clara and Nina learning a lot about water pollution

---Has moved to an earlier bedtime.  These days she usually falls asleep between 8:00-8:30

---Has been taking crazy long, like 2.5 hour naps

---Is obsessed with dogs after our visit to Boise.  If she sees one for even a second, she'll do the puppy sign the rest of the day.

Clara is a wild woman, and love to swing and slide and be flung around

---Is a chatterbox.  She says "mamamamamama"  and "dadadadadadada" all day

---Loves music and gets excited when I turn it on

---Loves to play the piano

Her new-found ability to stand has opened countless doors to destruction

---Has just started weaning from nursing

---Can drink from a straw

We had a great time feeding the ducks in Boise.  It took Clara a while to catch on to the fact that the bread was not for her to eat.

---Still has two teeth, but her front teeth look like they're going to pop out any day now

---Weighs about 18 pounds

---Loves all food

---Is finally crawling on her knees.  She crawled on her belly so long that I just assumed she wasn't going to ever use her knees, but she picked it up quick on my parents' soft carpet in Boise

---Is very social and loves to see other kids

Clara made a friend in the airport.  They liked to chase after the ball together.

Clara also continues to love anything with a screen.

I'm already starting to get a little weepy that my baby is turning one, but Erik loves that she's learning so much and getting more and more interactive every day.  She's our sweet girl and we couldn't love her more!

10 Months

On the 15th our Clara Jaye hit 10 months!  She is doing great and growing fast!

At 10 months Miss Clara...

---Is a sleeping champ.  She has slept 12-13 hours straight for the past several nights and still takes two naps during the day

---Has a biting problem...tips?

---Pulls up on everything, and can usually sit herself back down without a problem

---Misses her cheerleaders.  The season just ended so we don't get to see them every day anymore

---Loves to dance.  When music starts she starts bouncing like crazy and holds up her arms to be picked up and twirled.  She can also hit the ground to the beat, which is pretty cool.

---Is a destroyer.  Her favorite activity is pulling things out of cupboards and drawers.

---Waves whenever she is really happy or really mad, and has just started doing the baby sign for "more"

---Went to Utah for a short weekend trip with Mom and Dad.  She got to see her Nona and Auntie, and meet lots of friends and my grandpa, but she was a total beast on the plane ride home.  In her defense, it did get delayed 5 hours, making for a very long day.

On the flight home.  That face says it all.

---Can play catch and bounce the ball back and forth.  Erik says in one more month she'll be a better thrower than me

---Loves TV.  It's terrible and hilarious at the same time.

Clara got very sick this month.  This is poor sick Clara watching Baby Einstein.

---Still has two teeth.  Still in size 3 diapers.  Still in 9 month clothes.

This is at Subway.  It's her favorite place.  We like to share a sandwich, watch the ceiling fan, and wave at people as they come in.

 ---Has started to point at things that she wants

---Is turning into a daddy's girl.  She had a melt down when he left for work the other day

Hi Floppy

---Still loves the water.  We can't wait to go swimming in Boise!

We love our peanut! She is such a sweetheart and so much fun.  Happy 10 month birthday Clara girl!