Grrrrrr

I like living in the Northwest.  I really do.  The people are friendly, the area is beautiful, and we're getting settled in.  I just have one complaint, and for me, it's kind of a big one.  People let their gigantic dogs run wild and don't think anything of it.
Just some background info:  I am unreasonably terrified of dogs.  Like, full on phobia scared.  I attribute this characteristic to two things, the big dog that used to jump on me and knock me down at my mom's friend's house when I was really little, and the fact that two dogs essentially ate my cat when I was 7.
Earlier tonight Erik and I decided to go on a walk.  I had singlehandedly eaten half a batch of peanut butter cookies, and was looking to soothe my conscious with a little pre-bed time walk.  I was also looking forward to having a good talk with Erik where I updated him on America's Got Talent and other important topics.  Our romantic walk was interrupted by this:

Okay, that might not be exactly what he looked like.  But close.

This guy came barreling up to us from across the field.  This isn't the first time something like this has happened, so Erik and I kind of have a system.  Erik distracts the dog while I run or hide.  This time I originally hid behind a port-a-potty, and then when I was felt it was safe I came out and started walking the opposite direction.  CrazyEyes saw me and came running towards me.  I've always wondered how I would react in a crisis.  Now I know I will cover my eyes, pull my body tight, and yell for Erik.  Erik finally got CrazyEye's attention, and I hurried home.
As I watched Erik slowly make his way home, CrazyEyes right on his tail (no pun intended) I saw the only thing that could make the situation worse, DeathJaws, CrazyEye's friend.

 They really liked Erik, so they followed him all the way home, and then began to wrestle on our lawn.  This was the final straw for me, so I opened the window to yell at them to shoo, and they reacted by running onto the front porch and putting their paws on my window.  THEY WERE ON MY FRONT PORCH.  BOTH OF THEM!
I was fuming, and the dogs weren't leaving, so Erik suggested we take a drive to get away, and to hopefully lure the dogs away from our house.  We hopped in the jeep and began driving around the neighborhood.  The dogs followed us for a long time.  Erik led them through a dirt road connecting our neighborhood to another, and that's when DeathJaws gave up.  CrazyEyes hung in there a little longer, which was probably unwise because I was urging Erik to "hit it! hit it!" kind of like I do when I see a spider.
CrazyEyes finally gave up when we got to a main road and booked it, and we drove around a little bit longer to make up for the walk we missed (well, it doesn't make up for the cookie part, but I did get to tell Erik all about the Justin Bieber impersonator) and then we drove home.
When we got home, this was waiting for us on our driveway.

His owners call him Jake.  I call him Lucifer.

I can't get away from them.  Animal Control is well on its way to becoming my next speed dial.